Heal Childhood Trauma - Rewire Your Nervous System with Trauma-Informed Therapy
- Linda Di Filippo
- Apr 28
- 6 min read
Explore body-based healing, EMDR, Parts Work, and more to restore emotional balance and nervous system health.
We humans are naturally built to connect with others. Right from birth, our nervous systems are heavily influenced by the people taking care of us. Those early attachment experiences, especially when we were kids, have a big impact on how our nervous system and emotions develop. If someone didn’t get the emotional support they needed or faced emotional neglect as a child, their nervous system might not have felt safe enough to grow in a healthy way. How can you heal from childhood trauma? The first step is understanding how our childhood impacts our adult relationships.
The Role of Attachment in Early Childhood Development
Attachment is all about the emotional connection between a kid and their caregiver. It's the base for how a child grows emotionally, socially, and mentally. Attachment Theory says that the way we bond with others—especially with our main caregivers—affects how safe, trusting, and connected we feel. There are four main attachment styles:
Secure Attachment – When caregivers are attentive, connected, and reliable, kids feel confident to explore and trust that their needs will be met. This helps them develop good emotional balance.
Anxious Attachment – When caregivers are sometimes there for you and other times too caught up in their own emotions, kids might start to worry about whether their needs will be taken care of. This can lead to feeling anxious, clingy, or uncertain in relationships.
Avoidant Attachment – If caregivers are emotionally distant or neglectful, kids often learn to keep their needs to themselves and start relying on their own. They might struggle with trusting others and can seem emotionally distant.
Disorganized Attachment – When caregivers are abusive, scary, or unpredictable, kids might feel confused and scared. This can mess with their attachment style, making it tough for them to handle relationships and manage their emotions.
How Our Nervous System Reacts to Attachment Experiences
Our nervous system is always on the lookout for what's safe and what's not. When we feel safe, our body stays in a balanced state, letting us stay present and connect with others. This balanced state is key for bouncing back emotionally, staying focused, and building healthy social bonds.
But if we went through emotional neglect or didn't get enough emotional connection as kids, our nervous system might not have gotten the safety signals it needed to develop properly. This can lead to a nervous system that's super reactive, always on high alert, or just out of whack—making it tough to handle stress, emotions, and relationships as we grow up.
Understanding Emotional Connection and Its Importance
Emotional connection is all about a caregiver being in tune with their child's feelings and needs. When a parent is emotionally attuned, they can tell when their kid is hungry, tired, scared, or just needs a hug, and they respond in the right way. This shows the child: “You’re safe. Your feelings matter. I’ve got your back.”
When a parent is emotionally connected, the child feels calm and supported. This builds a secure bond, helping the child trust others, feel good about themselves, and handle emotions well. Over time, the child learns to manage their own feelings, knowing they can count on others when needed.
But if emotional connection is lacking or inconsistent, the child doesn’t get the right signals of safety and support. Instead, they might feel emotionally frustrated, confused, or abandoned. This makes it harder for them to tell the difference between safe and threatening situations.
How Emotional Neglect Affects the Nervous System
Emotional neglect happens when a caregiver doesn't give a child the emotional support and connection they need to grow up healthy. This can mean ignoring the child's feelings, not being emotionally present, or not comforting the child when they're upset.
When a child goes through emotional neglect, their nervous system is always on high alert. Without a loving caregiver to help them feel safe, the child's body learns to stay on edge, ready to protect itself from any perceived threats. This can result in:
Hyperarousal: The nervous system is stuck in fight-or-flight mode, making it hard to relax, sleep, or concentrate.
Difficulty trusting others: Without a caregiver who consistently meets their emotional needs, kids might grow up without a strong sense of safety in relationships.
Chronic feelings of inadequacy: Not getting emotional support can lead to low self-esteem, as the child might feel they're not worthy of love or attention.
Emotional dysregulation: When emotional needs aren't met, a child's ability to manage their emotions can suffer, making it tough to handle anger, sadness, or anxiety as an adult.
When you grow up dealing with emotional neglect, it can lead to some tough stuff as an adult. You might find yourself battling anxiety, depression, trust issues, or having a hard time handling your emotions. Your nervous system could be stuck on overdrive or completely shut down, which can make relationships and emotional well-being a real challenge.
The Adverse Childhood Experiences study found that people who had difficult or adverse experiences in childhood had a greater risk of both physical and mental health problems during adulthood. Try it yourself: https://traumadissociation.com/ace
Healing from Childhood Trauma: From Stress to Feeling Safe
Luckily, our nervous system is pretty adaptable, meaning it can change and heal. With the right therapy, you can train your nervous system to feel more secure, grounded, and tough. Here’s how the healing journey can go:
Somatic Therapy and Body Awareness
Somatic therapy is all about connecting the mind and body. It helps you notice how your nervous system holds onto past trauma. By paying attention to body sensations and using techniques like breathwork, grounding, and body awareness, you can start letting go of tension and shift your nervous system from being on edge or shut down to feeling calm and safe.
Polyvagal Theory and Nervous System Regulation
Getting to know and using Polyvagal Theory can really help in calming your nervous system. This theory explains how the vagus nerve controls the autonomic nervous system and teaches you how to move from a fight-or-flight state to feeling calm and connected. Therapy that uses Polyvagal Theory helps you notice safety signals and feel secure in your body.
Reparenting and Parts Work
Parts Work, which comes from the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model, helps you connect with different parts of yourself, especially the hurt inner child. By engaging with the parts that were ignored or traumatized, you can start reparenting—giving yourself the love and care you might have missed out on as a kid. This helps heal emotional wounds and builds a sense of safety and self-love.
EMDR for Trauma Processing
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a great therapy for dealing with trauma. It helps you work through traumatic memories stuck in your nervous system, letting you integrate these experiences and move beyond the emotional scars. This is especially useful for those who’ve faced emotional neglect, as it helps you process memories and release stored trauma from your body and mind.
Wrapping It Up: Taking Care of Your Nervous System to Heal Attachment Wounds
Attachment is the base that our nervous system uses to feel safe, trust others, and handle emotions well. If we miss out on emotional connection or face neglect as kids, our nervous system might get thrown off, making it tough to trust, connect, and feel emotionally okay.
But there's hope for healing. By trying out things like somatic therapy, Polyvagal Theory, parts work, and EMDR, people can rewire their nervous system, work through old traumas, and find a new sense of safety and security. If you've dealt with emotional neglect or attachment issues, remember that you can bring your nervous system back to balance and kickstart your emotional healing journey today.
Benefits of Holistic Body Based Therapy
Emotional & Psychological Benefits
Reduces symptoms of anxiety, depression, and PTSD
Enhances emotional resilience and self-regulation
Increases sense of safety and internal stability
Facilitates processing and integration of traumatic experiences
Builds self-awareness and mindfulness
Nervous System Regulation
Supports parasympathetic (rest and digest) activation
Helps rebalance the autonomic nervous system
Reduces chronic fight, flight, freeze, or fawn responses
Improves stress tolerance and response flexibility
Somatic & Physical Benefits
Releases stored tension and trauma from the body
Improves sleep, digestion, and overall physical health
Enhances body-mind connection and interoception
Encourages groundedness and embodiment
Relational & Empowerment Benefits
Strengthens boundaries and self-trust
Fosters a deeper connection to self and others
Promotes empowerment through body-based agency
Encourages trauma-informed healing in a safe, supportive environment
Holistic Integration
Complements talk therapy with non-verbal healing approaches
Honors the body's innate wisdom and self-healing capacities
Offers personalized, client-centered healing pathways
Embark on your healing journey towards transformational change—schedule your free consultation today and get started! In person and virtual therapy in New Jersey.
About the author: Linda Di Filippo is a licensed trauma therapist in Basking Ridge, New Jersey, who who works collaboratively with clients to help them get unstuck and uncover the root causes of their emotional challenges. Specializing in holistic methods and EMDR therapy, Linda supports individuals on their journey toward transformational healing and lasting emotional well-being.
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